Lord, I come to You
Let my heart be changed, renewed
Flowing from the grace
That I have found in You
And Lord I have come to know
The weaknesses I see in me
Will be stripped away
By the power of Your love
Hold me close
Let Your love surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to Your side
And as I wait
I will rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
In the power of Your love
Lord unveil my eyes
Let me see You face to face
The knowledge of Your love
As You live in me
And Lord renew my mind
As Your will unfolds in my life
In living every day
By the power of Your love
Lifting my arms and voice in surrender, I led the assembly of worshippers, allowing God’s love, through worship, to touch their souls and mine.
I had come a long way from the introverted woman of shame and doubt to this place of sacrifice and trust. Worship leading, seeking to touch the heart of God, encouraging others to do the same, this was a miracle, discovering a part of me that had never been strong enough to unfold and be seen.
For me, at this very moment of declaration of love, a secret door to being a woman and mother was opened. Never shared with another, never expressed in either words or actions, this was the moment of revealing me, open and transparent.
No more was I able to hide the emotion of true love and adoration.
Fear had bound me internally, blinding me, hindering the expression of love.
For me, it was the same love experienced when giving birth. All encompassing, innocent, pure and truly powerful.
The link between a mother and child is profound, and research suggests a physical connection even deeper than anyone thought. The psychological and physical bonds shared by the mother and her child begin during gestation when the mother is everything for the developing foetus, supplying warmth and sustenance, while her heartbeat provides a soothing constant rhythm. There is no separating of two beings for the months in the womb.
The separation comes at birth. Innocence and safety are immediately severed as the umbilical cord is cut.
The separation is final and sometimes cruel, even devastating.
Suddenly you lose that breathing in onesome.
My own mother’s heart had been bound with fear of losing. Loss of those innocent moments that I had endured in labour.
The sense of losing those I loved was all encompassing, all motivating, and all consuming.
And here I stood, suddenly free, under the revelation of God, knowing his freedom through Grace and love.
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
The perfect love of God.
Worshiping him, surrendering to his truth.
I struggled in my early Christian life with Jesus’ mother, Mary, never really being able to understand her role. I could find nothing to empathise with her until I became a mother.
Giving birth to a child is sacred, a realisation that out of extreme pain, hard work and unbearable turmoil of emotions, comes a little human of innocence; a manifestation of total dependency.
Mary, when accepting her scared call to motherhood, placed the future of our faith in that calling. Her strength of trust in God’s Word became a part of the story of our salvation.
There are no words to describe maternal feelings, no way to share them with those who haven’t experienced giving birth. There seems, though, to be an unspoken language between mothers which transcends words, emotions and knowledge.
Deep within there is raging love that no doubt, no barriers, no negativity can budge. It remains forever. The intensity of protection is inbuilt, activated in a heart beat, sending adrenaline through every fibre of being and ready to react instantly.
Mary’s calling was for all women, for all men, for all generations. God created birth, through His word, His spirit and His love.
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you [and approved of you as My chosen instrument]. And before you were born I consecrated you [to Myself as My own]; I have appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
Let us in times of desperation, in times of reckoning, in times of doubt, in times of sadness and times of joy, go back to the seed of love and life and rest in that power of love. Experience the closeness of God’s love, grace and hope.
Imbibe the incredible and wondrous experience of the newness of life. Open our eyes to see the new world around us, as a newborn birthed from the security of the womb, into the world that challenges and requires growth.
Power in loving makes the gap disappear, makes the fear disintegrate, covers in a security of peace, and shows the way to hope. It calms the soul with Grace and leads us to the foot of the cross and our salvation.
Pure love is our life source.
Abandonment in worship can lead to that pure love and power to overcome.