Tips for suckers in 2018. Go on, you know you want to.

1. Commit to nothing. Better to be notionally interested in many things than fully to committed to anything. #actbelongcommit

2. Wait for people to invite you. If they like you, they will. #gofirst

3. If it’s inconvenient, don’t do it – even if it means breaking a commitment you’ve made (see #1). If it feels like hard work, give up. The sooner, the better. Life’s too short for integrity and reliability. Besides, someone else is bound to do the job you said you would. #dowhatyousayyouwilldo

4. Don’t set goals. How many times do we have to say this? They’ll only make you feel bad and how you feel should be the chief moderator of any change you’re refusing when suckiness is the goal. #carpediem

5. Predetermine the size of your world and lock in the boundaries. You’re too old for new friends and too jaded for new experiences. #isaiah54:2

6. Use awkwardness as a gauge for engaging with new people and new experiences. If it feels a little awkward, strange, or uncomfortable, just stop. If it were meant to be it would feel completely natural the very first time. #doitclunky

7. Give others one chance to prove they’re worthy of your love. Life’s too short for second chances and, hey, it was probably their fault anyway. #loveagain

8. Ignore God’s Word. It will only invite you into places where you’ll discover that the world is big and you are not at its centre. Ok, it will accomplish far more than that, but that alone should be enough to keep you away. #eatthisbook

9. Don’t open your world or front door to anyone who’s different to you. People of different passions, beliefs, ethnicity and sexuality may be confronting. See #4, #5. #welcomethestranger

10. Get angry quickly. It’s good to be very present with your emotions and if you’re not, how will others know how you feel. Discipline, restraint and love are the domain of the passive-aggressive. Don’t be lured into their darkness. #bridlethetongue

11. Compare yourself to others. Galatians 6:9 says “Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.” See #8. #yourcreativebest

12. Park the gifts, talents and invitation that God has given you and pursue the things you think would impress others. Sure it might be stilted and ungainly, but suckiness is the goal here, not unforced rhythms. #unforcedrhythmsofgrace

13. Be easily offended. Be slow to forgive and hold grudges for as long as possible. It’s another way to keep the heart crusty and small. Remember, it’s all about you, so the other person probably wants you to be bitter. #yougofirst

14. Go it alone. Letting others in on your struggles, letting others pray with you, giving others a glimpse of the mountains you face may shatter the illusions they don’t have of your perfect life. Don’t risk it. #recruitgoodtravellingpartners

15. Stay stationary and overeat. If you’re already doing this, better still. Change nothing. #dareyoutomove

16. Ridicule the passions, interests and concerns of others. Apathy, ignorance and ambivalence can keep the fire of sucky burning bright. #othercentredness

17. Resist eliciting feedback. This may lead to positive change and may be the opposite of sucky. #360leader

18. Let your faith shrivel. It will keep possibilities small, vision myopic, dreams impossible, and push Jesus to the perimeter. While you’re at it, ignore the work of the Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit will only draw you into adventure and conform you to the likeness of Jesus. See #1, #3, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #12 #hebrews11:3

+1. Make it all about you. The suckiest of years always will be. #it’snotallaboutyou