I will disappoint >you<
and let you down
I will run too fast
too slow
or not at all

I’ll say too much
maybe not enough
or nothing at all

I’ll stuff up
Drop the ball
Run away with the ball
Steal the ball…
I’ll disappoint you.

But I won’t disappoint ^YOU^
because you know me and you know all of this

You knew each breath before inhaled or exhaled
The deep ones
the shallow ones
the quick ones
the trembling and the desperate ones
the nervous and the tired ones
You knew them,
You know them.

I must frustrate You, I must.
Too many times I rely on me
when Your hand is right there
to guide
to lead
to comfort
to protect
to love
me.

I must disappoint you, I must
there’s sin residue
still stuck on my
stammering, stricken heart
But you know this
Because I’m a work a progress.

You don’t weary of me –
Long after I weary of me and others weary of me
You’re still standing:
eyes wide open
arms wide open
Preparing a meal
Placing a ring on the finger of my wandering hand
Wanting me to dump the weight
drop the burden
And come.

So gracious
so merciful
so enduring
every. single. morning.

Even when you know the
specific characteristics of the screw ups of my 24 hours
You send new mercies to restore me ahead of my stumbling
You lift my head
as I crawl, stumble, limp, walk and run
along the path of wholeness that’s in you
Only in you

In You
Restoration is mine
forgiveness is mine
redemption is mine
grace is mine

But I’m a work in progress
I’m not finished yet
I will continually fail in areas I’d love to succeed
I will overpromise and underdeliver.

You know that
and love me regardless
You know what lurks within and what motivates
And, somehow, you love every part of me.

One day, we will be fully united—
Body, soul, mind and spirit
We will dance. We will cry
We will sing. We will laugh
And we will be overjoyed that your work in me is complete.