I have a friend. She is a lovely lady; smart, often smiling and we get along like a house on fire. I respect and admire her for many reasons. The other day she responded to something I had said that made me pause and consider that it was worth writing something. Here we are.
I had been describing my work situation to her, that the future was a little cloudy as it appeared my current work was coming to an end and I wasn’t sure what my next step would be. I shrugged and said something to the effect of: “Well, Jesus knows what He’s got for me, I guess He’ll let me know since I’m asking Him!” She respected that I hold such a view and that I’m pretty constant in all the conversations we have.
That’s not to say that it’s an easy place to live in every moment. While I truly do believe that God will meet my every need; that He will never leave me; and that His plans are so much greater than mine, I still have doubts at times. I suffered a wee setback just this past weekend actually.
I’ve been walking with Jesus on a particular path of physical healing and really believed that He was in the process of healing me from an allergy I developed in my mid twenties. I was in a good place with this and have been incrementally testing the allergy with no reaction. I was in a place of faith. Then I went to a café in Dunsborough, ordered something and didn’t check the ingredients. In the moments that followed, my trust in a good and faithful God was tested. Over the next hour or so I had an anaphylactic reaction that sent us speeding to Busselton ER for adrenaline and a host of other sleep-inducing, puff-reducing drugs and some mandated observation time. I felt a little let despondent.
At times like these, I need to lift my eyes and know that God is still good. That although an unexpected blip had railroaded my plans, He is still in reigning and ruling, He is still good and still has good plans for me.
At times like these when my ideas about what God is doing are tested, what can I do?
I could feel sorry for myself, absolutely. I could rail and cry and whinge at the skies, absolutely. Or I could focus on the positive things that came from it – knowing that I stayed calm while it happened, seeing my amazing husband rally and care for me and our kids when I couldn’t. I could gain encouragement from all the texts from friends and family who somehow found out where I was, and I could be thankful for what a great job the doctors and nurses in Busselton ER were doing. But most importantly, what I did was open my bible in the last place that I was reading, and I kept reading.
John 14:1 is where I was up to, and Jesus says:
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me”.
For me, it’s that simple. God is good. He is sovereign, and He cares for me. I may not always understand what happens, but I do know that I have no fear of my future, for he is my King and I trust him. Completely.