We had snuck out for a break. She’s more than a work colleague, she’s a friend, and our friendship doesn’t normally tolerate a lot of small talk. We were talking about ISIS, neo-Nazis, racism and the Mexican mafia. You know, casual topics.

Discussing the complexity of these issues appeals to us and truth be told, we probably both have a fascination with the ‘why’.

Why do these groups exist?

More specifically, why are individual people joining in to participate in the horror show?

It always comes back to the same thing, and she summarised her thinking,

“Everything comes down to a need for love and a sense of belonging.  Everything. And you can’t just fix that. There’s no easy fix. No spreadsheet will fix that.”

I totally get it. Earlier that day, I had picked up a coffee from a local cafe and I pondered the sensation that I felt when the barista greeted me with a cheery “Morning, Sera”.  After a particularly disjointed morning, it was a simple human connection that sparked a psychological reaction. My spine felt sturdy, my head lifted to meet her smile, and I smiled too. I felt seen. There was no other café that knew me; I belonged to this one. The smile was not just found on my face either; it resonated a sense of happiness on the inside.

When my friend said what she said, I wanted to quote her this scripture

“Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 8:39

It was my only logical answer to the spreadsheet problem. No amount of social and emotional learning programs for teenagers, or parenting courses, or best-selling books, or spreadsheets will fix the need that people have for love and belonging. This I know.

But the love you feel when you become part of the God’s family and get to know him as Father God is something that can only really be recognised when you experience it for yourself.

Christ-like love offers love and belonging.

It doesn’t offer magic. We still interact together as humans and sometimes fail miserably, but within this framework of a broken world, a Calvary-shaped love is something that we can draw and focus upon. The promise stands: Nothing will separate us from it. Not even death. We belong to this love.

It sustains.

It trumps fear.

It wins.